The Late Great Hamster Boy
by Reichenbach
Summary: (maraverse) A late night for Gotham's crime fighters is punctuated by the first appearance of the Hamster Boy.


Oracle pulled several large devices onto her lap, then turned around in her chair. She picked up the first, showing it to Superman. It was heavy, and unevenly weighted, and swung in her hand just a bit as she gave it to him. "This is makeshift, mind you, but it should be smart enough to decode whatever lockdown system they've put into place."  
  
"Even alien?" Green Lantern asked.  
  
"I don't think it's alien," Oracle assured him "I have all of Bruce's readings, and I think it's a human hybrid, which means its working on a hexadecimal system, which means it's decodable by human standards." She pointed to a small metal switch on top. "Doesn't really need a manual. Flip this, it powers on, and starts decoding. You're going to have to hardwire it in, though. No telling what kind of hookups they have.  
  
Green Lantern waited for his own equally awkward, quickly cobbled device. He looked it over once, looking for an obvious power button, the way Superman's device was constructed. "Ok, how do I work this bad-boy."  
  
"Well, I couldn't find anything that was external. You're going to have to get in there. once Superman disables the security system. and blow the thing. "This'll create a pulsating ion field which should be enough to overload their main reactors. And after that happens. you better just get the hell outta there."  
  
Kyle Rayner scratched his neck. "Um. maybe we should send the Invulnerable One."  
  
"Um. no." Oracle leaned back towards her computer, punched a few buttons, and pulled up a scroll of information. She looked back to Green Lantern. "Batman found a Luthorcorp connection, so I have a very good feeling that it's somehow Super-proofed.  
  
"We just thought that the exterior shell of the ship was of too dense of a material for me to see through. It could be just simple lead," Superman conceded. "This operation might not be as high-tech as we thought."  
  
"That's exactly what I've been thinking. I say we have about five hours before the rest of the League is into place to take this thing down. I'm going to keep looking for Luther connec--" she stopped, realizing that neither of the Justice League members invading her work room was paying any attention at all.  
  
They were both looking around her, at the doorway. "Jimmy, I thought I told you to go to bed," she sternly informed the boy without turning. She actually didn't spin around to give him the evil glare until Superman bust out laughing.  
  
"Not goin' ta bed, momma."  
  
Barbara reached beneath her glasses and rubbed her eyes tiredly.  
  
"And who're you supposed to be?" Superman asked indulgently, swallowing his chuckles.  
  
Jimmy was barely able to bend his four-year old arms with his father's heavy gloves on them. He squinted behind his sister's too-large mask and the blue beach towel tied around his neck dragged on the carpet behind him. "I'm Ham-ter Boy," he explained. "And dis is Mr. Styx, my faif-ful thidekick."  
  
"You put that hamster back in it's cage," Barbara warned him. That was the last thing she needed-for them to lose the preschool's hamster while they were taking care of it this weekend.  
  
"Oh my GOD," Kyle howled, nudging Superman. "Remember when mine did that?"  
  
"He decided he was Superbunny, and he was going to be my sidekick!" Superman laughed. "Jimmy, you have a. um. really nice costume. But, maybe you should put Mr. Styx back in his cage."  
  
"I'm Ham-ter Boy! If I gotta call Mara Robin, then you gotta call me Ham- ter boy." The hamster ran across the boy's shoulder and crawled under the edge of his 'cape.'  
  
Barbara shook her head in bemused frustration. "Jimmy, we already had this conversation. A million times in fact. Your sister is Robin now. "Why don't you let me finish up with Uncle Clark and Uncle Kyle, and we can monitor the satellites together, alright?"  
  
"Ham-ter Boy."  
  
"Right. Hamster boy," Barbara said indulgently. She turned back to Kyle when she heard the boy scampering off. "I didn't build any sort of activation device. I figured it would be safer that way. You can deliver it with your ring, then give it enough energy to start the count down. It's a five second timer. I don't want anything going wrong."  
  
Green Lantern ran a hand through his hair. "Five seconds? I'm not the Flash."  
  
Oracle turned back to her computer, pulling up displays of estimated maps. "I've calculated the distance between reactor cores and the outside of the ship. If you're quick, there's time."  
  
* * *  
  
The phone rang twice before it was answered. "Wayne Mannor," the clipped British voice on the other end of the line declared.  
  
Jimmy grinned with delight. Finally an audience who would appreciate the magnitude of his life-decision. "Hi Alfie. I'm Ham-ter Boy."  
  
Alfred never lost his even tone. "I'm sure that is very nice for you, Master James."  
  
"Not James, Ham-ter Boy!"  
  
"Er. yes. James, are you using the telephone without permission again?"  
  
Jimmy hoisted his towel higher up onto his shoulders, listening to the void of silence for a moment. "I hear mummy calling me," he announced, then hung up the phone.  
  
* * *  
  
Jim Gordon picked up his phone on the second ring.  
  
"I'm Ham-ter Boy," a tiny voice on the other end announced.  
  
"Does your mother know you're using the phone, Jimmy?" Gordon asked. He glanced up at the thermostat on the wall near the door. He'd have to turn it up if he could ever get the kid off the phone.  
  
"I'm not Jimmy any more. I'm Ham-ter Boy."  
  
Jim sighed. "Look, Jimmy, I'll call you when I get home, son. I need to keep my phone lines opened for work right now."  
  
Jimmy sighed. "But Grandpa! I'm Ham-ter Boy!"  
  
"And I'm sure you're a very good Hamster Boy, but I still have to--" There was a thud as someone fell out of the shadow behind him. He spun his chair around when he heard Batgirl's snickering laughter. "Do you mind?" Jim asked. He wished they could at least PRETEND like they had a professional working relationship sometimes.  
  
"Hamster. Boy!" Batgirl gasped, clutching onto her knees. "Its not. right!" she cried out again.  
  
Harvey Bullock opened Jim Gordon's door. "Everything alright in-woooooh. What's that?"  
  
Jim rolled his eyes. "My grandson called and announced that he's now taking up masked vigilante-ism and will be hence forth known as 'Hamster Boy.'"  
  
"That'll teach ya to eves drop, Batfreak," Bullock told her with certainty.  
  
Batgirl regained some of her composure, but not before snorting one more time. "What?" she asked, suddenly self conscious. "Is funny."  
  
"Hamster Boy?" Bullock snickered. "I hope you aint letting him get tainted by these freaks."  
  
* * *  
  
"Aren't you adorable," Nightwing informed the little boy waiting at the bottom of the roof entrance.  
  
"I'm Ham-ter Boy," he said. Mr. Styx is my thidekick, but he ran away."  
  
He patted the boy's head, and then removed the oversized gloves from his hands. "What'd we say about playing with daddy's stuff, Jimster?"  
  
"Not Jimmy," The boy explained with frustrated defiance. "Ham-ter Boy. I have a thidekick and eberyfing."  
  
"Alright, Jimmy. But you better take your sister's mask off. She's coming in right behind me." Tired, Nightwing stumbled towards his bedroom, leaving the boy to his own devices.  
  
Sure enough, a few moments later, a fresh-faced Robin came through the roof entrance. She just stared at him for a few moments in mocking disbelief. "You're just such a dork," she said, reaching for her mask, to tear it off of his face.  
  
He pulled a spaghetti server from beneath his towel and tried to claw at her with it, until she ripped it way. "Gimme my mask back, dork!" she pulled it off of his face without any concern for whether she was taking skin with it.  
  
"I'm not a dork!" he cried out, whining. "I'm Ham-ter Boy! I'm da terror in da night!" He kept jumping, reaching for the mask, but she kept holding it just out of his reach. "And I'm tellin' mommy!" The boy stomped his feet down to his mother's door and pushed it opened. "You wanna know what-HEY!" He tried to grab hold of the cape before his sister pulled it completely away, but he missed.  
  
"I need ta take a shower." Mara tossed it over her shoulder then went to the bathroom.  
  
"Jimmy! Get in here and put this hamster back in his cage!" his mother called from the other side of the door. "Before I run over him with my chair!"  
  
"No more Ham-ter Boy," Jimmy whined, looking down at his little yellow and green rugby shirt and brown corduroy pants. He pushed open his mother's door then trudged inside.  
  
Thus Endeth the Tale of The Hamster Boy. 


End file.
